Weekend Vibes 😎

Checking back in after a few days back at the world of work … I’m so pleased to be back! (Such a Weirdo!😂)

Genuinely though, having the routine set, get up, nurses come in the morning have breakfast and my shrinking cocktail of medication, get ready and start my working day 😊 is making a huge difference to me!

I have had some great catch up sessions with some great colleagues this week, who helpfully have been reading this blog so saved me repeating the same story over and over 😂 – Hi guys and thank you for the calls and messages this week!👋

Working the next few weeks at half mast is actually going to help in the long run as I am working through my list of things I have never had time to do! 🥳

My half days of working are almost full with calls and meetings already which makes me happy 🥰

My anxiety remains high for various reasons. The odd behaviour of some people is very confusing but I won’t allow that to effect me. I do apologise if the length of my illness is inconvenient for some 😂 I promise to try harder? 🤣 🤷‍♀️

Also, it’s the never ending discomfort … pain you would take painkillers for but what can you do for being constantly uncomfortable? 😬 My stoma bag now has a fancy belt thing which to start with felt like it took some of the weight/pressure off but that feels like it’s not doing that anymore. In other parts of my stomach the feeling is staring to return and again I wouldn’t call it pain but uncomfortable and maybe sore at times, more so as the day goes on. And then … bed … sleeping is my favourite but I actually dread going to bed now – it’s sooooo uncomfortable. However I lay, back, left hand side, right hand side … it makes no difference, it feels like there is a pressure point that has had enough on both sides. ☹️

I just cannot see a ‘normal’ with the constant uncomfortable feeling. Luckily I do have my post op appointment this week and some time with the Stoma team to hopefully get this right. At the moment even walking around Aldi is difficult! I am fed up and have cabin fever, even if I could just get my car back I would be happier!

On the recommendation of a few I am going to request a referral to the Mental Health services for support via my Private Medical … it has been almost 4 months and I have not heard anything via NHS … I will ask during my appointments this week if they can see anything on my records – but seriously that does suck!!

I recognise that I need this and have asked for help a few times now and after a life alternating trauma, you would think that would be available 🤷‍♀️ But I am a lucky one … I have a good network of family and friends around me – what if I didn’t? This transition is NOT easy, you can paint a smile on it and try to make the most of a situation but it is shit (💩 Literally and Figuratively!). Imagine trying to navigate this BS without a strong network and no mental health support, even when you are crying out for it?!

I will discuss this with the Crohn’s Team … if, of course, I ever meet them 🤣

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