Back to Work 👩🏫 – Written – with about a week to go
I am headed back to the land of the employed – not because I am physically ready but because my brain desperately needs it! 🤯
My brain needs the routine and to be active – I am bored and my bored brain goes off in various different directions – none of them good! So to save myself from the darkness, I am dipping a toe back into the world of the working.
I have been thinking this for a little while, I cannot do very much, I cannot even lift a kettle, I cannot play with the little people, I cannot walk the dog and even while I was in hospital I couldn’t find the commitment to Netflix or reading. But I can sit still with a laptop 🤣
This blog has been the only real thing I have been able to concentrate on and I have nothing to write about 😂 … that is a lie, I had a blood test last week and managed the first aisle of Aldi before needing a rest – compelling reading I am sure!
If you had told pre 2020 Leanne, she would not work for the summer of 2022, she would have passport in hand, backpack packed and be half way to the airport … ✈️🚂☀️🕶📚🌴🌊🏖🐬🐘 …
… but reality bites and it wasn’t quite how imagined it … 😩🚑🩺👩⚕️🧑⚕️🛏💉💉💉💊💊
But still … I may have half a bowel, I may (temporarily) be shitting into a bag, I may have a broken immune system, I may be half bald and I may still have an open wound on my stomach and a belly button MIA but I am still alive 🤣
And whenever I feel 🤬 I will try to look ahead and think about what my future self would say to me … well I will try.
Now it is Tomorrow! 😬
Tomorrow is the day, back to work I go!
Anxiety central 🤣 Even though it’s working from home! Jeeeeeez.
I think this is a confidence issue, thinking about video calls etc and people seeing me and wondering what they are thinking. I am always super anxious when someone new comes to visit me for the first time since before I was sick and do actively put people off coming for that reason 🙈
For the past week, my brain has been stuck on – What am I going to wear? I am not aiming for glam, just not sick! I still have not figured this out.
I already have the hair actively working against me – I need the rest to be on my side 😬 I am trying out the Nioxin hair loss treatment and am really hoping that it makes a difference. I have ordered scarves and hair bands etc to try to cover up my balding head but they haven’t arrived yet! Fingers crossed they arrive before tomorrow lunch time!
I was even brave enough to do a video about it … maybe the new me can be brave enough to do all the things?
I just need to try and get a reasonable nights sleep and relax about it all because seriously, what is the worst that could happen 🙈
To be fair … I can’t even remember my password to log on to my laptop anyway so this may not even be a problem 😂
🌹
My unwilling journey with Crohn’s Disease 
Leave a comment