The road to home … and a tour of my new but temporary stomach landscape.

4 out of 5 of the teams looking at after me gave me the green light to go home last week.

Doctors – bloods and obs are good, have been consistently so for a little while, no temperature spikes, they would have kicked me out last week if it was not for the Tissue Viability Team ✅

Stoma Team – I can confidently and effectively empty and change my stoma bag as required. I am calling this a double tick as I have needed to learn a one piece and a two piece Stoma bag due to the changing nature of my stomach op dressing. ✅✅

Occupational Therapist – I am not wobbly on my feet. I can get in and out of bed and have conquered the stairs. I showed them a few tricks for bonus points in case needed 😂 I can make and carry a cup of tea and suggested that we choreograph a singing in the rain routine while I still have Vera the VAC attached to a drip stand/lamppost. ✅

Me – I want to go home now pleeeeeeeeease! ✅

I wish I got a certificate or a sticker for each!

The last vote is with the tissue viability team – the wound specialists. Crohn’s is a bugger for slowing down the healing process, plus I was so ill and malnourished that my body just didn’t have the energy for this battle as well, so my wound is not as far along at this point (17 days post last surgery) as someone without would have it … a gift that keeps on giving hey!

Note* being so ill and malnourished is the same issue as I have with my hair or now lack of. The little I still have is still coming out by the handful so I am trying not to touch it at all … however hard they try… my sister Louise and Cousin Kerry and all of their remedies cannot bring back the dead, yes it will held with re growth and put me in a great spot for it to come back thick and fast. But there is optimism and when they see it in person they will realise that it is just denial. I am a realist, I see that at best it will be a very short pixie cut and at worst will be a shave and start again. Hell, optimism milight win out and I would be delighted l but I need to be prepared and I need them to be prepared also that I might get home and the only answer be to shave my head. 🤷‍♀️ Could be worse … could be ginger! Oh wait! 😂

Anyway, basically we are hoping for a yes you can go home but that does not make this all over. I probably leave with Vera Junior into a world of community nurses to start with for how many days a week?, eventually followed by Crohn’s treatments and a stoma reversal operation and that is if the world is plane sailing … that I know of so far. On top of this, I need to get back to work (no pressure from them but I want to get back in good time!) I want to go on a little holiday with mum, dad and the dog in a little house by the sea, for a week of relaxation and recuperation before we know it, it will be Christmas again.

A tour of my new but temporary stomach landscape

This is my view looking down.

On the right is my 2 piece Ostomy bag – covering my stoma. Down the middle is my operation scar and on the left a little battle wound where my stomach drain was removed and now is healing.

Fear not, you see nothing gruesome just fascinating. I don’t think I would post anything more gruesome than my face without make up 😂 if I was to for any reason I will put a warning in place!

I think I have explained Vera’s function before … but basically the fancy dressing in the middle of my wound, the plastic tube with the black foam, is attached to a fancy ‘VAC’ device I have named Vera. A nurse creates a dressing over the black foam and the vacuum pack is sealed and Vera is attached and sucks out any badness from my wound and allows it to create a clean and dry environment for the healing process to take place. A wet wound will not heal. Simple.

My Stoma bag has been changed to a 2 piece now as shown above, to allow for the Vera magic. My operation vacuum dressing must be flat on my skin and sealed to create the vacuum and the stoma bag must also be flat to the skin and they are so close together. Basically the 2 piece can stay in place for longer that a 1 piece and will help to not mess with either of them.

And just for finality the stomach drain was removed a couple of days ago …

… funnily enough, this is the part that has bothered me the most throughout the whole thing, having that tube removed whilst conscious. In reality, it was 3 seconds of uncomfortable from the tip of the tube and then it was out. But like anything, it is a build up of anxiety of the unknown.

Breaking News 🚨 The tissue team have said yes ✅

That is my 5 yes’s!

But now we have to wait for a portable version of Vera … 🙄

*Update Vera Senior has left the building to be replaced with a snazzy little number we will call Vera Junior because I have been through a lot and am not feeling so creative😂

And now we wait for medication, discharge letter and sick note for work …

*Update – it is 18:30 and there are questions around medication … what I have been taking as pain killers and what I have been prescribed to take home. Basically Maurice ain’t staying home with me for more than half a day.

Option 1 – Risk it for a biscuit and go home. This could end up in after tomorrow lunch time, my morphine pain killer dropping from current consistent levels to zero because they have given me one day Maurice and 2 days of the other pain killer which I shall call Gav’la (begins with Gav and can’t ever remember what it is called). This means possibly getting into a world of pain with no Doctor on standby, just the mercy of my GP surgery or A&E (Hell no!)

Option 2 – Hang out with the night shift gang for one more night and speak to the doctor in the morning.

After not so careful consideration and remembering one previous occasion where I went home before being 100% ready and what a song and dance that one ended in 🚑 … Georgie Porgie the Unicorn and I decided it was best that we entertain night shift for one more night! I mean come on, Ashi is working and she accidentally stabbed me yesterday (the tiniest scratch, I decided not to press charges, she felt terrible which just makes it funnier), the brilliant Lara and the lovely Nell are working tonight. Plus Nav from the Stoma team brought me a world of supplies incase by some miracle I went home that evening but had not managed to finish cutting all of the templates she wanted to for me ahead of my home visit with one of the stoma team in the next week, so that adds to vote stay for one last night as Nav will finish them in the morning.

So goodnight world … it is 01:23 and I am going to make a cup of tea because a) I can and b) I am Platinum level patient status now at 6 weeks and now 6 days.

Jerrys final thought … It has been suggested by one of the former inmates Liz that I have remained in contact with that Ward 22 should be renamed after me at this point … that is maybe a bit excessive, maybe we just call it Ward McC22 … Any thoughts let me know.